Wednesday 29 June 2016

When I Open My Eyes

Today is the ordinary gap year day like any other day. I didn't sleep all night long, watching K-Dramas, watching movies on Netflix and singing Bollywood song. It is so hard to change my habit 'eat-sleep-movies' life but I have to change. If not now then, when?



I know is so little (well, my normal portion is a big scoop of rice with various side dishes). I eat that to lie to myself because I cheated. I eat the whole package of spicy Indonesian Cracker while watching "What's Your Number?" on Netflix😅 I'm so pissed at myself, I regret it😢

I always regret every single thing that I did and said. I just wanna be nice but I always screw things up. I blamed myself every single unsuccessful relationships (whether its official or not), every fights or even every single word that I said. I keep thinking back and wonder "if I didn't said that, would we still together?" "If I didn't do that, would she be happy?". Oh well, I live only once. I don't live to please others. I never seriously like anyone since 2014 but I like the idea of love, so I watch K-Drama instead😂

So from now on, I wanna do what I love to do. Even if I'm bad at it, just do it. 😛  Just be yourself! being happy is the most beautiful thing on earth💁🏻

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